did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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