Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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