Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
