Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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