i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize