if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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