there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize