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Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
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