Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.