Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up

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(330): Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up http://tfl.nu/ip0y

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(718): View more from New York

what happened last night?

(917): View more from New York City

u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style

(718): View more from New York

that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left

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(718): what happened last night? (917): u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style (718): that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left http://tfl.nu/i3a9

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then

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(651): I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then http://tfl.nu/awn6

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(520): View more from Arizona

Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn

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(520): Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn http://tfl.nu/666p

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(240): View more from Maryland

stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.

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(240): stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing. http://tfl.nu/y30j

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest

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(732): I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest http://tfl.nu/b35x

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(228): View more from Mississippi

i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy

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(228): i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy http://tfl.nu/ftf6

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was

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(920): We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was http://tfl.nu/2xqa

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(585): View more from New York

Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.

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(585): Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you. http://tfl.nu/iycg

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(410): View more from Maryland

Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?

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(410): Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version? http://tfl.nu/niwx

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours

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(215): took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours http://tfl.nu/otx8

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(716): View more from New York

She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked

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(716): She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked http://tfl.nu/7qkm

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(905): View more from Ontario

Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.

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(905): Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward. http://tfl.nu/zy4k

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.

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(414): yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour. http://tfl.nu/t1tz

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(516): View more from New York

sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day

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(516): sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day http://tfl.nu/3ryn

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