Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!