I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
