nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
