I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
