its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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