'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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