i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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