Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
