Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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