So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Terrible idea I love it
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
