I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
