she is the kim kardashian of front butts
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
