my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
