I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
