the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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