She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
