shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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