party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
