someone get that fucking seahorse.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Send help, water and tortillas.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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