what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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