you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
