are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
