wakey wakey hands off snakey
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
third nipple confirmed
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
