Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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