Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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