at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
