DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
im holly from the hills drunk
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
