I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
