I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
40s are totally the cure
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
