pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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