I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He has the fingertips of a God
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