you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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