I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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