in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
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My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
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I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
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