does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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