I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
