hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize