I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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