She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize