I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
