So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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