oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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