i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize