bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
