So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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