During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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