Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm drive I can fine osifer
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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