? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
