She is in my trunk
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
