Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
