you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
